Obsessive, and expressive

drinking at home
I'm finally drunk at home on Labor Day. I've been drinking since noon. I stopped briefly to cook (the food turned out great BTW) while drinking, and have continued drinking. This is what I remember and love about holidays. It gives you a day to drink in the middle of the afternoon and not feel guilty. Not like the weekend, but on a freaking Monday! I just think that's so cool. I had to capitalize on it. I also capitalize on this while I'm on vacation but that's another story.  

Dream premonitions

I had one of those dreams again. Dream premonitions, so vivid that you force yourself to wake up. I had something similar the morning of my accident. But I failed to tell anyone about it. Beause in the dream I saw the accident. It didn't happen to me. So I thought I was not at risk. Big mistake. In this dream there was a sign on the front of my car that revealed some bad news and inevitably they said they wouldn't let my car be released because of that bad news. That scared me. I was like, not again. I woke up and I prayed and condemned the evil that brought me such a dream. Since this acident it's been one cluster after another, and at this point I just want my car fixed, is that too much to ask? I keep playing that day over in my head and wondering, if I could have avoided it, why didn't I? Why didn't God shoo me away from the evil and lead me to safety but instead I just played myself right into its arms.

So here I am telling someone. Anyone. I can't risk another one coming true on me.

accidentally me
You know what I hate? I hate it when you accidentally  bump into a gay bar, walk in and they start staring at you like you lost your way. It's a bar, isn't it? And they have drinks, preferably the good, strong kind. So, why can't I drink here?

Yesterday night, after enduring 5 hours on a chair to get my hair braided, I wanted food, drink, anything...a nice shot of something to numb the pain just before my food arrives. And I bump into this "restaurant", right beside the Thai restaurant I actually intended to go to. So I think, how about a shot of something to numb the pain as I wait for my food to arrive, or better yet, bar food, even more filling and satisfying. As I walk towards it, immediately the guy at the door stops me with a "Yes, can I help you?"

"This is a restaurant, right," I ask naively.
"It's actually a bar." He replies, omitting the gay part. And very well, I didn't know such a subcategory existed, like is there a "straight" bar, maybe that's what I've been going to since, straight bars, and alas, here's the gay one. 

So I respond, not even detecting the tone in his voice as he inspects me with his gaydar, my freshly minted braids begged to differ. So, okay she's not gay, just hungry, stupid and in need of a drink.

In my mind I am thinking, it's late they are probably about to shut down shop, or at least the kitchen aspect of it. "Okay, so do you have food?" "Yes but the kitchen is closed."

I look at my watch, certainly it can't be that late. So he mellows out and says, "Oh, no, not actually closed. You have 30 minutes, but we don't have that much." So I walk in, still very hungry and irritated with this conversation. I couldn't quite understand why he was policing me at the door, you either ask me for the cover charge or my ID, but if I am a paying customer (or I seem like one), there really is no need to stop me at the door to play twenty questions. 

So I walk in. Bar top one. Gay couple caressing. Bar top two, other gay couple whispering, giggling and smoking. And the rest of the servers were hanging some kind of disc glitter from the roof. Surely this is a gay bar. I contemplate, I am so thirsty it really doesn't matter, the drinks will still taste the same. But then, the smoke and that glitter, and they don't even have wings on the menu, what decent bar skips wings from their menu...the gay bar that's what. So I pass. No shot, no food. I keep it simple. Police guard at the door is ever so pleased as I walk out, like he says almost with a smirk, Okay, see you later. Like he knew I would walk out. It was only a matter of time. He was lucky I was hungrier than I was thirsty, if not, I would have stayed, with the smoke, the glitter and all. 

In summary, why can't we straight people not crash gay bars, why is there even such a subcategory? What is wrong with this world, what's with all the subsets. I can understand rich and poor, but if we can help the subsets why create them? Just give me a drink please, and hold the glitter and the smoking for outside. I just need my shot, dammit. 

much rather make friends with men
I would much rather make friends with men than women.

Women are such dickheads. One minute they want to be your friend, next minute once a man comes along, or some jealousy creeps up, they just start to hyperventilate and the friendship is ruined. You make friends with these stupid co-workers at work and the weekend comes they dont' even text you a simple note hi. But they spend the entire weekend texting some guy who is probably never going to respond. And they see you on Monday and act like you're their favorite person ever.

The weird thing is you never know where the jealousy or the unforeseen malice aforementioned is from, they just decide that hey, they just don't want to "do you" anymore. I've never experienced such fickleness with men.

With men, the only fear is that they would start to develop feelings for you that may or may not be returned. I can so deal with that. They like to have fun, go out drink like crazy, watch movies, they are always down for whatever. Women are just too fickle. Every time I've invited some girl out somewhere, you always have to make it seem like this is a "girl-date" (read: opposite of man-date) I am not gay, I just want to hang out and not have to sit at the bar or dance by myself. But their nerves get all riled up like you asked them out or something. And they feel pressured to say yes, but minutes before the date they text you to cancel, with some crazy excuse about their cat, or dog being ill.

I was watching old Sex and the City episodes last night and I couldn't help thinking that inasmuch as we love that show, it is so unrealistic, women cannot all be friends like that and evrything is "honky-doory" and they all hang out together at least once a week. Nope, it cannot happen, once a quarter is a myth. And they know that, that's why it's such a great show, like a fantasy.

Job security
I pray my job is secure.

Two nights ago I had a nightmare that there were some layoffs and I was one of them. It was scary. And it shattered my manager so much that he started some kind of petition to keep me on the staff.  And he went to HR, mentioned how much of an asset to the company I am, etc, and then, I woke up. 

So I think nothing of it until now. I just decided, another week ahead so it's time to pray that I still get to keep my job. Because I really need it. 

The Dark Knight at the Oscars
I don't think it's fair that the Dark Knight didn't win any of the awards that I had hoped for. It started off with a snub for that marvelous brilliant director Chris Nolan, and then, they deny them basic awards like sound editing and worst of all, Cinematography.


The scenes from that movie are filled with sheer genius, it's hard to deny that masterminds were involved in the making of that film. Epic genius. While to me, Slumdog is more like unintentional epic movie, that was just so well-received. I suppose it's the newness in Slumdog that's getting them interested. Bollywood has come to the Oscars!

As said in the New York Times:

 "No matter how cynical you feel about Hollywood, it is hard not to fall for a film that makes room for a shot of the Joker leaning out the window of a stolen police car and laughing into the wind, the city’s colored lights gleaming behind him like jewels,"  "He’s just a clown painted on black velvet, but he’s also some kind of masterpiece."



During an uneventful day at work

So I successfully "un-jinxed" the $200 electric bill to not coming true. It was at a reasonable rate under $100, yay!

Trying to schedule some vacation time to any of these places, (San Francisco (squeeze in a trip to Napa), New York, San Diego, Santa Barbara and Miami) some I have been to and some I haven't and some I am just dying to go to. In the midst of the recession you would think hotels would chill for a bit and charge reasonable rates, instead it's all over $69 a night. Back in the hey day, I have paid up to $112 a night for a hotel, but that was back in the day when I had not exceeded my credit limits on my credit cards. Now, the sad fact of the matter is, if I want to vacation at all, I can no longer afford to vacation alone. Not unless the rates are $50 a night or less. That's the cold hard truth. So that has just put a stop to my luxurious vacation planning. Either that, or I can only vacation once, for my birthday. I'll save my money up to that time and go big or stay home.

If they had hotels-for-less deals on craigslist, just the same way, you get furniture for less, shoes for less, electronics for less. If they had, "crash at my house for less" deals on craisglist, that would really help in this economy.

I read this article in the New York Times about how restaurants in new York that wouldn't normally have reservations 3 months in advance, have reservations now, the night of, make concessions to accomodate their patrons, which they termed "hugging the customer" and generally have prix fixe deals fo certain dining hours. Very nice. The diner wins for one. What's the deal with the hotels then?

the city cafe is extinct

“We have to be very careful,” Mr. Perrey continued. “If we standardize everything in France, and we study everything, and forbid everything, we destroy respect for our culture. We need to preserve the cafe bar. What is a village but a cafe, a school, a pharmacy, a bakery and a city hall?”

I don't know why I like this quote. But I just do. I think it has to do with the fact that nothing is sacred anymore. Before you could live in the hopes that you could escape this capitalist world and go off to France and open up a cafe and listen to the cafe patrons quib about the economy while they sip their espressos. But not so anymore. Alas, the economy has spread its fangs towards Europe and the sacred European cafes so much that they are now going out of business and because the simple pleasures have been so curtailed, life is no longer fun.

What is life, if the cafe bar is no longer fun, is no longer there...

how unbecoming
Was supposed to go see this viewing of this play tonight, actually looking forward to it since Tuesday but I had a horrendous day today and it is slightly muggy outside that I am just so glad to be home. Just wish it wasn't on a Friday night.  

I spent the day at the airport trying to ship my aunt and her 5 bags back to NIgeria. Apparently, there is no such thing as excess baggage. You take 2 bags and that's it. You can't take anymore...the rest you can either kiss goodbye or ship it. So we chose to ship it. And this took $1000 and 5 hours of my day. And in between I encountered the worst fucking airline you can ever think of ---also known as Delta airlines. God willing I will never fly that airline again, not even if it's free. The worst fucking staff make up the worst fucking airline. It's a pity they didn't go under like was earlier "hoped", the gods of the economy and fairness was trying to do us a favor and put them out of business. 

So I am home, just glad to be home safe from all the chaos can be cruel and evil and filled with so many twists and turns, make you want to sit home not step outside and encounter the evil in this world. 

Ye. that's me the home hermit on a Friday night. 

Wicked - the play
What can I say about Wicked that would make it seem as if it was "wickedly" entertaining. It was. Still not the best musical I've seen in a while, but it was right up there with my top 5. I keep thinking, maybe if I hadn't seen it on Halloween it may not have been that memorable. Maybe. Or maybe if I had seen it on Broadway with the original cast of Idina Menzel, it would have made it even better. Who knows? But either way that's the memory that will live on, seeing Wicked with a whole bunch of people dressed as witches and clapping at the slightest twitch of the ghost or thud of thunder. 

The music was not that good to me. When I can't hum a single tune from the play after the play that means it was not that memorable. The acting and the script was much better, tighter script, easier to follow (compared to Les Miserables) and also quite humorous. Not at times, rather quite a bit. The set design was amazing; they spared no expense. I just keep comparing it to the hilarious time I had watching Seven Brides, or the catchy songs on Mamma Mia, or the inspiring uplifting time I had with Women of Brewster Place and with all those, Wicked doesn't compare.

But it was still wickedly entertaining.


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